Occasionally, we have clients who are concerned about the potential of uninvited or unaccounted for guests. Traditionally, the names of invited guests are written on the invitation envelope and it is assumed that only those invited will make an appearance at the wedding. Yes, you heard me, it is assumed that people know the proper etiquette and would not think twice about bringing an uninvited guest without asking first. Easy enough and makes sense in my opinion, but sometimes this is just not the case. While some may not see a problem with showing up uninvited, it can cause quite a few issues. In some cases, it can even create a financial problem. Take for instance the issue of food. It’s good to keep in mind that unexpected guests can equal an unexpected catering bill at the end of the evening for the newly married couple. (Not exactly the sort of wedding gift anyone has in mind.)
If the threat of uninvited guests is a concern to you, there are ways to approach it without (hopefully) offending anyone. As stated previously, the envelope is the place to list the names of those invited. Don’t be afraid to be specific. When children are included, their names can be written below their parents’ names or if preferred, the term “and family” can be used. If including an inner envelope, then list each name on it instead. If inviting a single friend or relative and you wish for them to have the opportunity to bring someone along, then simply state “and guest” after their name.
To go a step further, some like to include very specific information on the reply card. If you need to keep a tight rein on the head count, you can include something similar to the following: “we have reserved ___ seats in your honor” or perhaps, “___ seats have been reserved for you.” In either case, you would fill in the blank with the number of guests invited individually on each reply card.
Similarly, you can use something like this: “___ of ___ guests will be attending.” In this case, you fill in the second line ahead of time, and the guest fills in the first line before returning the card to you. For example, upon completion by both parties, it would read something like this: “1 of 2 guests will be attending.”
You can also be a little more direct in finding out how many guests will be attending with something along these lines: “There are ___ guests in our party that will be attending.” Or you can write out several options and simply leave them a place to check by the appropriate number.
To find out the number attending the ceremony versus reception, try something like this:
“Number attending ceremony ___ Number attending reception ___”
Any of these suggestions can be mixed and matched or reworded to suit your specific needs. While this sort of reply card wording may be a little less traditional, it will hopefully help create a few less headaches down the road.
